Powder days

When you work 12 hours a night in a bar, any time you’re not too exhausted to get out of bed becomes an exciting day for searching for any powder that might be left on the mountain. My friend and I did just that two days ago. We were lucky enough to finish work the previous night by 3am, giving us plenty of time to sleep and still ski before we had to start work again at 6pm. It’s always an amazing feeling to get back onto my skis and dominate the mountainside. This time we decided that there were too many people on the slopes, so we would do a little exploring and find fresh untapped powder in the trees and forests where most gapers (tourists to the mountain who can’t really ski) would not dare to go. What luck that we decided that. We had some of the most amazing powder runs through the trees, a few forays near the river that were a bit too close for comfort and an epic bail!

I was flying through the forest and had just glided off a fallen tree covered in snow, making it the perfect jump and was absolutely delighted as I cruised towards the road to wait for my friend. Unseen to my elated eyes the drop from the forest onto the road was slightly larger than expected, about 3 feet larger! If, as a skier or snowboarder you have ever dropped something onto a completely flat landing you will understand the pain involved in an unexpected flat landing! Due to gravity and laws of falling bodies and Newton and all that stuff, the ground stopped my feet but gravity kept my face moving, straight into my knee! It was an extremely fast, powerful slam of my poor nose directly into my leg, leaving in my excruciating pain, blood squirting everywhere and a hysterically laughing friend! Guys…. Well the good thing about falling in the snow is that there really isn’t a problem icing the injury. I’d hate to think what my nose would look like if I hadn’t instantly iced it. At the moment it’s about twice the size it normally is and when you have a large nose to start with that’s the last thing you want! Especially when you have to work in 2 hours’ time!

However, the moral of this story is that when it is a powder day, and you get to make fresh tracks through a forest, explore new areas and generally roll around in the snow, the minor discomfort of a swollen nose is completely worth it. Any time the pain becomes too much I remember bursting through powder cushions that covered my waist… ah pain? What? No, it’s a minor scratch, all worth it!

The important things in life

Sometimes I find myself completely bogged down by the problems in life that I no longer see what is important. I think many of us have this problem where we forget that we only have one life, we only have one shot and we should take advantage of every moment. Life is not worth wasting on trivial problems, bullies who try to demean us and stressful jobs! There are always going to be reasons to be negative, to be worried, to be stressed. Then there comes that moment of clarity when you suddenly realise that all those feelings are not important. All the worry that's been needlessly eating you up inside is never going to solve anything, that in fact worrying is perhaps the most useless passtime of all. Anyone who has ever criticised someone about being a lazy layabout should look to themselves first and ask how much time they have spent worrying. I feel that I would rather waste an entire day being too high to do anything than waste 10 minutes worrying about something that cannot be changed. But I'm getting distracted here. The moment of clarity.

So as you know I'm now living in a tiny village in the Swiss alps called Lenk. I discovered just how tiny the other day when I went skiing on a powder day. It was one of those days where the visibility was next to nothing and it was dumping with snow. It was also my first day out on the mountain this season. We could barely see where we were going but it didn't matter at all. Every run we did felt like getting first tracks. As we rode the chairlift back up the snow covered all tracks and once again we had clean lines all the way down. The groomers had about a foot of snow on them and even more to the sides. The snow covered my knees and thighs with every turn. My skis glided over fluffy whiteness with absolute ease. No obstacles, no challenges. Buttery as snowboarders would say! As it was our first day up on the mountain with zero vis we stuck to groomers, but who can complain when you're skiing a foot of fresh snow on a mountain that had about 5 people skiing. Its one of those days most people look out and think, I'm going back to bed. For us it was one of those days where we thought thank goodness most people are pussies!!!!

The next day arrived with clear blue skies and the promise of new snow. Now if you've ever skied in Europe you will know Europeans have a very distinct "on piste" vs "off piste", for Americans that means groomers vs the rest of the mountain. Unlike in North America though, ski patrol only take care of the piste. Anything off piste is completely your own responsibility, which means that a lot of Europeans have this terrible fear of anything a snowcat hasn't mutilated. For me this means kilometres of untapped powder fields where every trip down gives me the opportunity to create a fresh line. This is the first time I've lived in a small resort. Think I've been sold on it! Sure the mountain is not as huge as the main resorts in the alps but then how many people in those resorts can say they get a fresh line every time they come down?

It is in days like that you realise that there are no problems, that nothing is insurmountable, anything is possible and that life is fan-fucking-fastic! We are not on earth to suffer, we're here to enjoy every day to the maximum. So whatever you do, do it with passion! We only have one life. That's it. LIVE IT!!

The deep end

I have survived my first two nights working in a German speaking bar. I have found that when Swiss people speak, I have no idea what they are saying. When I ask them to speak high German they look at me with contempt. When they hear me trying to speak high German they ask where I'm from. When I tell them South Africa they ask "How the hell did you end up in Lenk??" Suddenly I'm a topic of interest and any mistakes I might make are instantly forgiven. I can however brag that I'm getting better at this bartending thing. I only sort of want to have a panic attack when a huge group of people walk in, I now know what glasses to serve most drinks in and my manager forgives me when I screw up and takes over when I look terrified! Today is the first day I think I feel slightly normal again, working from 8pm until 4am takes some getting used to but tip for survival, keep busy! When you're constantly moving your body can't think about being tired. Then when bed time comes, well rest has never felt so good!

I have also found out that I will be working for a local festival when that opens. I have no idea who any of the acts are and somehow feel that they will all be quaint local Swiss acts but its in a massive tent (and called Das Zelt!) and I will be watching for free while doling out drinks to happy festival goers.

I have also today managed to find the gondola up the mountain. If you ever do come to Lenk, the gondola is not within walking distance! Taking the bus is strongly advised! I think this is the first ski resort I've worked at where its taken me nearly a week to actually locate the gondola. I will be heading up the mountain for the first time tomorrow. Hopefully it will be my first day off since I've been here. What a wonderful idea, no work for 2 whole days! Slightly more normal sleeping hours and the possibility of 2 full days of skiing!

My life as a movie? please?

You know when you sign up to do job you've never done before in a language you can’t speak? Welcome to my life!! Right now I am about to make a living as a bartender in the German speaking part of Switzerland. I don’t speak German, I don’t know the difference between cognac and whiskey and I couldn't tell you what glasses they are served in, in English or German! Why did these people hire me?? I have spent the last three days cleaning and stocking the bar that I am to work in. I have never seen some of the glasses I had to pack away! And as for green vodka? What’s wrong with the normal clear vodka? Why do we have to make green vodka? And what glass do you serve vodka in? The only time I drink vodka is when it’s well-disguised by some kind of mixer, then it doesn't matter what colour the bloody vodka is!

Even I realise that right now to anyone who has ever worked behind a bar I must sound like a complete idiot, an absolute novice, I should probably go back to my pints of beer drunk safely on the other side of the bar. Well this is where my dilemma comes in, I really am this ignorant and I really will be working in a bar for the next few months and it is all in German. I rather hope that all of this becomes some kind of Coyote Ugly story, where I am dreadful at first but somehow perform a feat of wonder and everything turns out fine and suddenly I’m flicking bottles around like a was born in a circus. Ah wouldn't it be wonderful if life was like a movie? Unfortunately this is real life, my life and it is about to get a little crazy!

Stay tuned for updates in this new crazy stupid adventure I'm embarking on, and if you are a seasoned bartender reading this, I can pour a beer… is that a redeeming fact?

Can someone invent Teleportation already!!

Its all very well to jet set and travel around the world, a different continent every few months and until they develop teleporting, many hours sitting crammed into flying cattle trucks! There are perhaps 50 odd people each flight who have the pleasure of flying business class, for the other 500 odd people on the flight breathing space is not an option! On a recent flight from durban, south africa to dubai (en route to switzerland) there was not a single empty seat in the whole of economy class. If you have ever spent 8 hours on a fully booked plane you will empathise with me. Now add to this 4 hours of continued turbulence and you begin to get a picture of the flight!

I have spent many hours on many planes and have still not come up with a way of making economy class over long distance bearable, but there are ways of making it tolerable. Firstly, choose a seat near the back, the back of the plane its always emptier than the front so the chances of getting a free seat next to you are much higher. If you're on a full plane though it doesn't matter much.

The next bit of advice, be friendly! The air stewards can make or break your flight! They have a lot of people to keep happy, in cramped conditions for many hours and a little bit of compassion and friendliness goes a long way to making sure they go out of their way to make sure your flight is pleasant.

I experienced this to the extreme on my horrid flight across africa. A little bit of joking and chatting to the air steward lead him to bringing me an extra business class dessert with a glass of champagne! I can assure you that business class have delicious dessert and a little bit of chocolate and champagne go a long way towards making an economy class flight not only tolerable but a little exciting too!!

Chicago Police Taxi Service

I was looking through old photos and came across some of them from my time in Chicago and thought that they had a story that had to be shared! After a 18 hour long, non stop drive through from Colorado to Chicago I couldn't justify wasting one of my few days in Chicago sleeping off the long drive, so my friend, Nate (a local) and I set off to see what the Windy City had to offer. In order to make things more interesting for him, the tour of Chicago became a tour of the great drinking spots Chicago has to offer, with a side line of seeing the sights. I can definitely recommend this way of seeing a city. It is, however, going to take some help from Google maps to piece together the walk we did through downtown Chicago. Our trip started with a walk down Michigan Ave towards Navy Pier where we enjoyed our first beer at the Billy Goat Tavern, a Chicago landmark for their burgers, which I don't eat... the beer was good though. It is also from this place that the alleged Curse of the Cubs originated. (Owner of the Tavern was asked to leave Wrigley Field during a World Series game because his goat's odor was offending fans. As he left he declared that the Cubs would never win another World Series, which as to date has not happened).

We then headed to Millennium Park to see the face fountain (a fountain that displays the faces of local Chicagoans), found another bar and of course stopped in for a drink, or two. We continued wandering through the streets of downtown Chicago, stopping for a beer whenever the need overtook us. Naturally this means the walk became a bit of a blur after a while. However, I feel that most people would agree when you are in a new city, sightseeing is the smallest part of visiting. You don't learn about a city through sightseeing, it's the experience, the feel of a city that leaves the lasting impression. Chicago is a city that is vibrant, clean and pulsing. The people love their city and you feel that wherever you walk.

Towards the end of the day we decided that one cannot come to the Windy City and not see a Cubs game at Wrigley Field so to Wrigley Field we headed where we met a few other friends, fortunately a lot more sober than we were!!!

We bargained for some cheap, yet pretty good seats in the stadium to go watch the trail end of the game. It was my first time watching a baseball game, and it was everything I was expecting. The Cubs killed their opponents and the stadium was full of drunk, happy supporters. I probably cannot explain a single baseball rule but it was still great fun and the atmosphere was enough to make anyone cheerful!

After the excitement of the game we headed across to the Cubby Bear for the after celebrations. What an atmosphere! They had a fantastic, cheesy band playing while serving cheap beer in plastic cups. The evening became a blur of dancing, drinking, celebrating that only ended when the bar closed and we were forced to call it a night. My friend and I literally stumbled out of there, very thankful to our slightly more sober friends for looking after us! About 5 meters outside the bar my friend passed out, right in front of the Chicago police! Backed up by a lot of drunk bravado, I entertained the police with tales of being an excited tourist from South Africa and how Chicago was the best city in the whole of the USA!!! This gave Nate's girlfriend enough time to rouse him from his stupor and convince him that it was time to get a train back home. It was a very eventful trip back home, though I don't remember it. The consequences however, are still very clear in my mind!!

I ended up getting angry with everyone and wanted to get away, pretty sure that I could find my way home if I got off at the right stop. So at the stop I charged off the train, leaving everyone behind. Well when I arrived on the street did anything look familiar? Of course not!! I'd been walking around Chicago in a sleep deprived state, now not only was I sleep deprived but rather drunk too! The following is guide on how to find your way back to your hotel when you are lost on the streets of a strange city at 3am.
Step One: locate a bus stop, when you determine that the buses are no longer running, look at the map they usually provide at the bus stop to determine your current location and the location of your hotel. When you realize that you are too drunk to make sense of the moving letters on the bus map, move to step two.

Step Two: wander into the middle of the street and look at all the buildings, landmarks and street signs to see if anything looks familiar and could possibly lead you back to your hotel. That this point you should also resign yourself to the fact that you may be walking for a few hours to find your way back home. If nothing looks familiar move to step three.

Step Three: look completely lost and confused while you are standing in the middle of the road, if you are in Chicago the chances are that a cop car will pull up within the next few minutes and ask if everything is ok. This is when you pull your best attempt at being a helpless, lost tourist (Which shouldn't be too tough because thats exactly what you are). The police will then ask where you need to be. If this happens you are pretty much guaranteed a ride, and a lecture, most of which you will have forgotten in the morning anyway.

This way you get a ride home from who knows where to your hotel, saving a significant amount on taxi fare, as the Chicago Police are not in the habit of charging drunk people for giving them a lift. And as Matercard would say, the look on your friends' faces when you ride up to the hotel yelling out the window of a cop car "those are my friends!!" is priceless.

I have to end this entry with a thank you to the Chicago Police who seem to do fantastic job of keeping the streets of Chicago safe! I never felt scared while in Chicago and I think the huge police presence has a lot to do with that.

Oasis in London

Everyone  has heard from Central Park in New York, its probably the only reason most people in that city can breathe. I have discovered London's far better counterpart, Richmond Park. Richmond Park used to be the hunting grounds of King Charles I who installed himself there to escape the plague in London. He was the monarch who walled in the park, but still allowed people to enter and use the park. 2360 acres in size this park has a bit of everything. When I visited it, it was in the throws of autumn and we were surrounded by a sea of gold, orange and brown leaves.

We enjoyed the view and watched people cycling, walking their dogs, fishing, drinking and generally just relaxing and having a nice time. That is what Richmond Park seems to encourage, being happy. Lakes are interspersed through the park, deer wander around freely and the ducks make themselves known to all. This is the kind of place where you can't help but want to go fly a kite. And when the weather is looking fantastic, the sun is shining it seems like a great idea. Well that's what we thought, so we packed up the kite, got ourselves in the mood by singing Mary Poppins' "lets go fly a kite" song and made our way back to Richmond. However, the most important thing to consider when going to fly a kite is that no matter how great the weather may be, how bright the sun may be shining, no kite will fly when there is no wind. We were determined that there might be some wind at some point (I think a green herb may have had an influencing factor on our determination...) so that kite was set up... and lay absolutely still on the grass while we sat next to it, feeling a bit foolish. Families wandered passed us with questioning looks on their faces and we grew slightly more self conscious and eventually gave up kite flying to go climb trees instead! Just goes to show that Richmond Park can never be boring!

The next day we were much more fortunate and a strong wind was blowing, we headed to Old Deer Park this time to finally test our kite flying skills.